BLAH! fuck.....so much shits on my mind...its drivin me insane.....i swear i had it all thut out earlier....all my thuts and shit and now i dont even know where to begin with all the BS goin on!!! seriously i just dont know anymore.....this years started horrible!! then got GREAT! and back to horrible...ive lost my best friend..my brother..my savior....and it sucks i dont even know who to run to anymore....i do miss him incredibly and in times like thesei wish he was there to hold me and tell me its ok yannoes? i member those days were i was so down and he was just lay next time me and make it all better again....i know ppl are thinkin WDF were u guys together or wah....and no! it was never like that....he was like my gay best friend who wasnt gay at all! =/ i dunnoz......but i came to realize he never truely loved me like i thut he would.....i guess the only men in my life that will never hurt me is my daddy and my 2 bros.....plain n simple.....

and with all of that BS comes more.....i got my car taken away and the insurance! cuz my sister caught me using her id for the 2 tickets i got recently....which i know is my fuck up! i got my own DL taken away for failure to appear and shit and i just kept laggin it and thut about nothing more then just having fun fun fun....but im slowly learnin....and with the whole no car delimma i've saved alot of money and been doin my part at home with cleanin and shit..more so then before....im able to use the car work work n thats all...whick is cool with me and i ask to use it for anything else and make sure im home wen i say i will be.....i lost my independence but its no ones fault but my own and i gotta deal with the consequences.....so now i gotta find my own ins. and ride...which i dont mind at all really....ill be sure with these responsibilities i drive much safer and in the speed limit =D

ever since the whole car deal...been havin so much troubles wid kris and its just soooooo fucked up.... its just hes never there no more he never offers to come by and shit....hes ALWAYS out! and/or high! so when i call him i dont wanna talk about my troubles! cuz hes around pplz and i know he'll get preoccupied and when hes high hes to slow to comprehend wah im sayin yannoes!.....its so gay and been like that since the whole week startin monday! ive been waitin so long to try to talk to him and  yesterday i just blew up cuz i couldnt take it no more there was so much that happend but im not gonna go in full details its way to much so write out....well its not alot but it doesnt need to be known feel me.....and the night before he was out all night and even slept over hes hgs pad wid a few homies cuz they were up til 7 or 8 am gambling and shit then he didnt wake up til 2 and when he called i was just PISSED! cuz hes always out! what bout me!? when is he over gonna have time for me....like fuck im goin thru hell and back while hes out fuckin around? am i trippin? i really dont think so....mayb in someways cuz its all this BS addin up but thats total bs....then after i blow up on him he said hes gonna call me bak after he eats! but thats at 3....he doesnt call back til about 7! so i blow up again like WDF u eat for fucken 3 4 hours?!!? and hes all wdf....y u trippin for...and i tell him hes so consistant with tellin me he'll call me back at a certain time and NEVER DOES! and this weeks it around the time i go to bed or already knocked out for him to call me  back! ACK! so after that i told him ill call him back in::FUCK:: on the phone rah now aruguin wid kris.... BOoOo!

to be cont.....